Your tits are I can't wait for
Banned from zoo.
Again?
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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