I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
