remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
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i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
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It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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