Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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