This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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