matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
i just google imaged poop.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
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