The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
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