Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
