I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
