im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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