in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
