I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
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