He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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