hotel room ftw
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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