He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
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