I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
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