When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Randomize
