his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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