Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
