the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
