**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize