No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I think I am morally bankrupt
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
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