this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
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Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
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Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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