i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
