I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
