He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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