Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
