My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
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