great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
