Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
