The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
