So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
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