that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Randomize
