hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
