Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
