I wanna bring you to show and tell
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize