the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I will die if light touches me.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
