Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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