is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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