He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize