Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
