I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
