im drinking this country out of the recession.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
