So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
