is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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