it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
