i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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