I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize