Whod you bang
garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
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