If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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