do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Randomize
