well most of my day revolves around power hour
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
