so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
