Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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