i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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