pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
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