So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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