my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
