when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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