i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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