One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
And then the night went full on bisexual.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Randomize
