Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
