For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I love having hate sex.
it glows. i had to have it.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
