Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
